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03 December 2009

Star Wars quotes that perfectly describe sex...

"The force it binds us and it penetrates us"

"It's a trap!"

"And I thought they smelled bad ON THE OUTSIDE!"

"He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you."

"I never knew I had it in me."

"I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."

"Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm.
And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is."

"I want my lamp! I'm gonna need it if I'm going to get out of this slimy mudhole."

"You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger."

"You serve your master well. And you will be rewarded."

"Hello there. Come here, my little friend. Don't be afraid. Oh don't worry, he'll be alright."

"Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"

"You've got a lot of guts coming here after what you pulled!"

"The force is strong with this one."

"Don't act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren't on any mercy mission this time."

"It didn't go in. It just impacted on the surface."

"This may smell bad, kid, but it'll keep you warm ...."

"Back door, huh? Good idea."

"You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought!"

"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced."

"Into the garbage chute, flyboy."

"That malfunctioning little twirp, this is all his fault."

"She's fast enough for you, old man."

"Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?"

"Where are you taking this...thing?"

"There's an awful lot of moisture in here..."

"Take the professor here and plug him into the Hyperdrive."

"I can hold it ... I can hold it ... I CAN'T HOLD IT!"


05 September 2009

Swine flu warning!

I just heard this, you all need to be aware:
If u get an email that says u can get swine flu from tinned pork, delete it.

It's SPAM.

02 September 2009

Wife vs. Husband

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, ‘Relatives of yours?’

‘Yep,’ the wife replied, ‘in-laws.’

15 January 2009

En blondins dagbok

Kära dagbok,

Förra året bytte jag ut mina fönster mot dyra tre-glas-lågenergi-fönster.
Den här veckan ringde en man från firman som installerat fönstren.
Han påpekade att de gjort jobbet för ett helt år sedan, men ännu inte fått betalt.
Ok, bara för att jag är blondin så betyder det inte att jag automatiskt är dum.
Så jag berättade för karl´n vad hans snacksalige försäljare sagt för ett år sedan,
nämligen att efter ett år så har de här fönstren betalt sig själva!

Och hallå det har gått ett år nu!

Det blev tyst i andra ändan av tråden, så jag la på.

Han ringde inte upp igen.
Han kände sig väl dum!